Naive’s Guide To Everything in the World

Yellow

Yellow is a color, like red, green or orange. Unlike red, green or orange, it looks yellow. One thing that is yellow is a chicken. Chickens are famous for chickening out on brave deeds, like fighting wars or asking girls out. Thus, “yellow” has become a synonym for “chicken,” as in the phrase, “Are you going to jump into the center of that cooling tower, or are you yellow?” But yellow is also the color of gold, so it has also come to mean being obsessed with gold and money, which is looked down upon by some cultures. Still another usage is the term “yellow journalism,” which refers to sensationalistic reporting that exists only to sell papers. One could go on and on with bad yellow things. Penalty flags or cards in American football and rugby are colored yellow. Bees are half-yellow. The yellow fever has the word “yellow” in it. And mean people in history used to negatively refer to the skin of Chinese people as “yellow.” It would seem that being yellow is not a good thing. And yet corn is yellow and delicious, while lemons are yellow and give food and cocktails an extra zing. So who’s to say that being yellow is always bad? Other good things that are yellow are traditional wooden Number 2 pencils, the song “Mellow Yellow” by folk singer Donovan, American taxi cabs, the hardcover edition of Christopher Hitchens’ “god is not Great,” and yellow crayons, which make yellow. One can truly gauge another’s personality by whether they think yellow is awesome or revolting. – Matty Fatty