Gloom

September 17, 2009 at 2:13 pm | Posted in A. Kitty Bee | Leave a comment
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gloomAs in “gloom and doom” or “gloomy” or gloomvesent.”  Gloom is a word sometimes used to describe things that are gloomy- like a feeling or the weather or an old creaky house on the corner of your block that you and your friends throw stones at, but then later you find out a defenseless old woman lived there and you feel really bad and have guilt ridden dreams for the rest of your adult life. Gloom could also describe a person’s out look on life.  If someone is always walking around thinking its going to rain or that the government never does anything right, or that the grocery store is always out of their favorite ice cream flavor- that would be someone who is gloomy.  If it’s gloomy outside then it looks like its going to rain all day long, but it never does.  Its just cloudy and gray and, well, gloomy.  Gloomvesecnt is the opposite of effervescent but it basically has the same effect on things. – A. Kitty Bee

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Mug

February 25, 2009 at 1:49 pm | Posted in A. Kitty Bee | Leave a comment
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A mug is a round (usually), concave object for holding hot beverages.  They can also hold alcoholic beverages at parties when all of the other glasses have run out.  They usually come to you in the form of gifts or souvenirs.  Or the beloved souvenir-gift, like when your roommate goes away to Fiji and brings you back a mug that says “FIJI!” on it.  And then your roommate is always using it.  Sometimes they say things:  such as, “Happy 50th Birthday Uncle Harry!” or “Hey look who got Bar Mitzvah’d, or Married, or Died.”  Although honestly a Funeral Mug is very rare and if you have one you should hold on to it and then ebay it at the proper time… what ever that is.  Mugs often have a handle like a tea cup.  Some mugs don’t have handles, like some tea cups.  A tea cup is in essence a kind of mug, only smaller and daintier and used exclusive for tea.  The wonderful thing about a mug is you can really put anything in it.  The name “mug”, unlike “tea cup” does not restrict your chosen use of the object.  Another meaning for mug is a face.  Mug usually describes the face of an unsavory character. – A. Kitty Bee

Blank

February 24, 2009 at 3:23 pm | Posted in A. Kitty Bee | Leave a comment
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A blank is an open spot.  It could be in a sentence, for instance on a test a common type of question is know as a “fill in the blank.”  Those blanks look like this- __________.  Another common blank is used in conversation as a substitute for fowl language.  As in, “Then the man got out of his car and yelled, ‘Blankiedy blank blank blank’.”  If written it would appear thusly @$%!#*!- or any similar variation there on.  Blanks also appear in spoken slang.  Like sometimes someone could be said to have a blank stare or they could be described as drawing a blank.  In basic terms this means not thinking.  People described as being in this state are easy to spot because they normally look like they are not thinking.  In some ways blank is another word for zero.  At other times blank means way too much. – A. Kitty Bee

J. Frederick: Author Bio

February 22, 2009 at 6:38 pm | Posted in A. Kitty Bee | Leave a comment

J. Frederick started his career as the inventor of hockey in 1817.  After this ground breaking thing he spent a lot of time pondering his next move.  Waiting and gathering his mental capacities he lived in outer Mongolia and is said to only have had contact with a mute, deaf woman who mended his ponchos and such things.  Eventually he emerged from the edge of the world and published three books simultaneously.  They were said to hold the secret to Time and more specifically to the turn of the twentieth century.  They were called: “Time.  Ending Soon?” “Up, Up and Away in Time,” and “Time, Ending Later?”  Basically all these books did was make J. Frederick stinkin’ rich by capitalizing on people”s fear that the world was going to end around that time.  Eventually people realized what a hack he was and they stopped buying his books.  This was around the time that the century turned and the world kept going.  J. Frederick then took up art and moved to Paris at the appropriate time and subsequently to New York at the appropriate time. Unfortunately all of his art was lost due to a feud between Himself and Alfred Stieglitz.  It ended bitterly when Stieglitz stole J. Frederick’s girl.  In his rage J. Frederick destroyed every single piece of art he had ever made- I mean every single piece.  This put him into a lot of debt because most of his art had been sold to people who paid a lot of money for it and were none too happy to wake up and discover the ashes of their investment in their foyer or library or what have you.  He even destroyed all the pictures, which was possible in those days.  This equally pissed off some critics and newspapers for similar reasons.  To dig himself out of debt J. Frederick took up making porn.  Some people say Stieglitz won.  J. Frederick made a lot of porn, I mean a lot. Think of some porn you have seen that was made before 1961.  OK, got it?  Yeah he made that.  And that one too.  In 1961 J. Frederick left the porn industry, saying, “Porn is dead” and bought a large house in the Canadian Alps.  He can be found there among his large collections of many different things.  It is said he has an entire wing dedicated to clocks, but no one knows for sure.  He plays some hockey too, but he is not very good.  Alfred Stieglitz died in 1946. – A. Kitty Bee

Snow

February 13, 2009 at 1:40 pm | Posted in A. Kitty Bee | Leave a comment
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Snow is white rain.  It falls, much like rain, from the sky.  Unlike rain it has the habit of accumulating in piles on the ground.  Snow has been know thorough the ages as a favorite of children because snow piles of a certain size result in things being delayed.  These things can be school and homework and detention- basically school related activities of an undesirable nature.  Snow unfortunately doesn’t just happen.  The feeling of the air outside must be very cold and the ground too.  In places where the air feels warm all the time there isn’t much snow at all or never.  Snow piles are great for frolicking, sledding, and getting your clothes really wet while not caring at all.  Snow can also be rolled into balls and thrown at people you like- perhaps one of the only times thorough out the ages when it’s socially expected to throw things at your friends. Then you can drink hot chocolate- which everyone loves. –  A. Kitty Bee

Million

January 11, 2009 at 5:11 pm | Posted in A. Kitty Bee | 1 Comment
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Million is a lot.  It’s a really big amount of something, like rocks, or minutes.  Some people have to wait a million minutes for something or they have to do a million things in one day.  A million is such a lot that doing a million things in one day is impossible.    These people are unlucky.  Other people have a million of something.  They are called millionaires.  Generally millionaires can be found doing things that involve their million, like investing or buying things no one else can.  Investing is when you put part of something into something else and it grows into a third thing.  Kind of like when you put eggs into a muffin batter and later you get to eat some muffins.  Muffins are delicious.  Millionaires are lucky.  – A. Kitty Bee

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