January 22, 2009 at 4:21 pm | Posted in Da Ritzenator | Leave a comment


“Go ahead and Jump. Jump. Might as well Jump.” These immortal words are sung in the song Jump by Van Halen. Out of context, they sound like persuasion to commit suicide. In context, I don’t know what they mean. As referenced by the song, the action of jumping is stereotypically tied to committing suicide, by “jumping” off buildings or bridges. This is a technical error of oversight, as people who plummet themselves off buildings or bridges usually don’t actually physically jump. The suicidal action is usually more of a fall, or “Nestea Plunge” off of said structures. In order to jump, step one is to squat down. Step two requires the complete concentration of focusing all your thoughts toward your feet, making them spring up and away from the ground. Step three is to extend your legs after you have pushed off the ground, while in the air. Jumping is not easy, as it takes years to learn how to master. After a long time of training, if one discovers he or she is good at jumping, it can ultimately pay off via vacation while representing your country at the international jumping competition called the Olympics. This is where people who think they are the best at jumping can try their skills out against others who think they can jump even better. There are even different divisions of jumping, like if you are better at jumping the furthest, there is one category. If you can jump the highest, that puts you in another category. And if one is good at both running and jumping at the same time, they could enter the biathlon event called hurdles. But this event is not popular, as it is shunned and looked down upon by jumping racists who believe running and jumping should not mix.Da Ritzenator

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