January 12, 2009 at 10:24 pm | Posted in Matty Fatty | Leave a comment

Glasses are oval-shaped pieces of glass that help people who can’t see all that well see. Or rather, see better. They don’t perfect sight, necessarily. Personally, I’m not sure how they work. But they’re brilliant. If you can see, but see all blurry, they make everything clear. If you can see perfectly, they have the inverse effect of making you a blurry seeing person. If you can’t see at all, then sorry. Glasses can’t help you. They can’t hurt you. (Apart from draining a chunk of your checking account. Glasses aren’t cheap, pal.) But they can’t hurt you. Before there were glasses (ca. the 1950s) people with particularly bad eyesight were ostracized and often forced to work in occupations that didn’t require good eyesight, like cave mining or art criticism. Oh, I’m sorry. You meant glasses as in the kind from which you drink. My mistake. Glasses are typically round and allow one to store beverages so one can conveniently drink them. They are totally different from cups made from non-glass elements like stone or wool. The person who invented glasses is unknown but was evidently quite bright. Or bright for his or her time. Once upon a time people were stupid, not like they are today. That said, do you know anyone who has invented something as simple and brilliant as glasses (the kind from which you drink)? Oh, you do. Fascinating. Go on. Matty Fatty

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