January 12, 2009 at 2:00 pm | Posted in Matty Fatty | Leave a comment

Grass is a thin, green plant that covers quite a lot of the earth. Most people like it cut down way short, much like a crew cut. If it grows, it can get annoyingly high. Because of this, people in urban and suburban areas invest in giant, expensive machines to trim it so itʼs not obtrusive as it could be. And it can be very obtrusive. Very, very obtrusive. Even when mowed down to barely obtrusive levels itʼs still a nuisance. Sit down on it for a handful of minutes and youʼll emerge with your rear end covered in green grass stains. Grass sneaks up on you like that. If there is a god it invented grass to annoy people. That, and to participate in photosynthesis. But also to annoy people and make their pants all green. If I may make an editorial comment, then know Iʼm personally just not a fan of grass. Grass is also a euphemism for marijuana, a recreational drug people smoke or bake into pastries or sometimes put into tea that gets them really, really high. It’s also the name of two documentaries: one about the plant grass and one, narrated by Woody Harrelson, about the drug grass.Matty Fatty

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