January 28, 2009 at 12:10 pm | Posted in Da Ritzenator | Leave a comment

DNA is the stuff that living stuff is made of. DNA stands for Directions (for) New Animals. And that is just what DNA is: directions on how to make creatures. But each creature has a unique set of DNA, specific only to itself. Unless it has an identical twin, then they share DNA, and can read each others’ minds. I’ve heard people talk about DNA as “building blocks” or “blueprints” which are both fairly accurate synonyms, just overly simplified. If one knows how to read DNA, one can make anything from a new mouse with an ear on its back, to a diabetic person without the diabetes. How it works is simple; like making cookies. There is basic DNA that tells how many fingers and limbs to put on a creature, like the standard flour and eggs in cookies. But you can get creative and give the creature red hair or purple skin, which is exactly like adding walnuts or peanut butter chunks to the cookies. All you need to do is stir up a pot of the DNA traits, or “building blocks” and pour into an oven ready pan and cook on high for about 30 minutes. The DNA “blueprints” will work together, like ants in a colony, and arrange themselves to make whatever creature you imagined. We are lucky to have this knowledge today because DNA was only recently discovered. It was created by scientists who were pressured by TV writers to discover something that would wrap up criminal cases easily and efficiently in under 45 minutes of allotted time. The scientist cleverly realized that a criminal’s blood or other body fluids (ewww!) usually ended up at the scene of a crime. So they created DNA as the way to match up the said body fluid with a person who turned out to be the criminal at the end (but was usually the friend of the victim with some vendetta to settle). Soon other REAL scientists thought that this idea was a good one, and they soon actually found the real substance that makes up all living things that we all know and love: DNA. – Da Ritzenator

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