January 15, 2009 at 4:53 pm | Posted in Jonny R Goode | 2 Comments

“Information is dangerous,” claims Malcolm McDowell in Simon Kubrick’s classic laffer, ‘A Clockwork Orange,’ and he couldn’t be more correct, or deadly. Information is like a scorpion’s sting, except in words or sentences (information does not come in paragraph form, at least not yet.) Anyone familiar with a stock ticker will tell you that information is very long and very thin. One store of information is that secret hotbed of collective knowledge: old wives’ tales. One such ‘tale’ or ‘tail’ is that you can’t find a good man if you tripped over one. I beg to differ. I tripped over a very good man, and he painted my house. This is an example of ‘untrue’ or ‘eun-trui’ information. Another example of this kind of information is that you are a 35-year-old man. Absurd. Throw that piece of information out with the garbage. True information, however, is worth its weight in gold, more even. If you are the proud possessor of such information, then throw all that pesky gold out with the garbage. People who deal in information are called ‘spies’ or ‘guys’ or ‘The Italian Renaissance.’ Don’t trust them. Instead, buy yourself a convertible, and drive. Just drive forever. – Jonny R Goode

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