Matty Fatty: Author Bio

February 18, 2009 at 4:06 pm | Posted in Jonny R Goode | Leave a comment

Matty Fatty’s just a man, like any other.  He has two legs (for runnin’), two arms (for liftin’), and two heads (for fuck’s sake!) Yes, Matty Fatty’s just a man.  A greasy, pimply mess of a man, whose wayward ramblings, drunken in the street at 3 a.m., moaning at the sillhoutettes in the windows, waving his be-brown-bagged-bottle- frankly, it’s all a bit of an embarrassment.  Matty Fatty’s not a disproportionately large man, not as his name would have you believe. Oh, he’s FAT alright- his folds roll and break like huge waves on his pants, and a beetle surfs.  But Matty Fatty’s JUST RIGHT.  He’s a porridge of a man, a pillow.  A harmless man.  Invisible.  He makes no efforts, and no boats get rocked.  Had he captained the Titanic, it never would have been built in the first place.  Now, Matty Fatty’s not a smart man, but nor is he dumb.  He can rub two pennies together. He’s good with the friction shtick. I’ve seen him do it for hours, delighted, that huge wet smile from where the drool drips down. Those glazed-over eyes, those wildly jerking limbs, those teeth that must be held so that he does not bite off his own tongue.  Yes, Matty Fatty’s just a man, a man with the body of a lion and the head of a goat. What’s that one called?  Chimera.  Matty Fatty’s just a Chimera,  like any other. Jonny R Goode

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