Money

January 14, 2009 at 9:50 am | Posted in J. Frederick | Leave a comment
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Money is any tangible item – pieces of paper, coins, buttons, bottle caps, small erasers, 2.5-inch-long pieces of thread – that can either be used to buy things, or be placed inside a greeting card and given to your nephew on his Bar Mitzvah; it has literally no other uses.  In order to get money you can work, steal, or kill for it; each has its pros and cons, and there is no universal consensus as to which method is best.  Life, which appears on the surface to be a complex process undertaken by carbon-based organisms involving growth, adaptation, evolution, reproduction, and entropy, is in fact actually an elaborate contest to see who can acquire the most money before the universe implodes, at which point some fabulous prize will presumably be awarded.  At any given point in time there is a Richest Person in the World, an official title given to the person who has collected the most money.  For most of the 1980’s that title was held by popular singer Eddie Money, who earned the nickname “Money Eddie” for at that time controlling 65% of the world’s wealth, which he then lost in a fire. – J. Frederick

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