Naive’s Guide To Everything in the World

Yeast

Yeast is an outrageous little creature that does the damnedest thing (more on that later.) Yeast is also the furthest a living organism can get from a human being. Go on: picture Abraham Lincoln in your head. He’s a great example of a human being. Now imagine the opposite of that. It’s easy: it’s yeast. We don’t really know what yeast looks like; perhaps it’s a gelatinous blob with a smiley face, or a small rhino. One thing’s for sure: it does something absolutely mindblowing (more on that later.) Some women get what’s called a “yeast infection,” and they have to drink lots of cranberry juice. I love cranberry juice. I wish I had a yeast infection. Ancient cultures, such as the Mayans, worshipped a Yeast god named Billows. Billows supposedly had the power to heal ancient sicknesses, such as a spear through one’s heart or a sacrificial head disconnection. Of course we know that’s poppycock. But yeast DOES have one extraordinary quality that sets it apart from all other creatures great and small (more on that later.) – Jonny R Goode