January 12, 2009 at 3:35 am | Posted in Da Ritzenator | Leave a comment

There are only two types of speakers. The first are people who talk in front of other people. They usually have an extra fancy name like Guest Speaker or Speaker of the House (I don’t know what that person does, although it’s something political). Bill Cosby was the guest speaker at my graduation and he sure was funny. Other than that, I don’t know much about those kinds of speakers. The other kind of speaker is the one that you listen to. Back in olden days, people recorded sound onto plastic circles called “records.” But they needed a way to get the sound back off those records. So an ingenious man made it so that the sounds would travel from the record through wires and out of a box, which he called a speaker. Electricity is involved too, but I’m not sure how, since I can use speakers without plugging them in. Later speakers were made to work with things like tape players and cd players and mp3 players. Come to think of it, when a guest speaker is talking, he probably does it through a microphone, which we then hear coming out of a speaker. But speakers didn’t just stop there. You can find speakers on/in televisions, telephones (the side you listen to), movie theaters, headphones, cars, and even buildings. They also appeared on answering machines. But now, cell phones are all the rage and answering machines are being replaced by voicemail, which comes directly out of the phone. It is a sad day in a speaker’s life when it becomes old and not needed anymore. But you can just throw them away, because they are not living things, even though they might have sounded like living things when you listened to them. Da Ritzenator

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