Split the Kipper

June 21, 2013 at 12:20 pm | Posted in Juan D. Tenti | Leave a comment
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STKI recently got kicked out of school for playing a game called Mumblety Peg, but they let me back so long as me and my friends promised never to play it again and we did. So now we came up with a new game that is just as fun as Mumblety Peg. Of course adults never want us to have any fun so we make even better sure than before that no one ever sees us play it. Since no one can see us we could probably still play Mumblety Peg, but my momma didn’t raise no liar and I said I wouldn’t play that even if it was a promise to the stupid fat principal with the long hair that he wraps around his bald spot like no one will ever think he doesn’t have hair and sometimes you can see his bald head through a gap in the swirls and we used to always joke that maybe a bee will fly in his hair thinking it is a hive, but we stopped making that joke when it really did happen for real and the principal is allergic to bees and got all swollen, which you wouldn’t think would be possible for such a fatso, and went to the hospital. They had to drive him out of the school laying across the seat of his fat person scooter, because the EMTs couldn’t budge him without motorized assistance. Even though he didn’t die, he definitely could never play our game being so fat.

Split the Kipper’s a very simple and fun game and doesn’t have the quick win option that Seven Toes Sam always did with Mumblety Peg. The only problem is you don’t want to play with someone who doesn’t know how to do it. You have to make sure they practice first. The idea is for two people to stand a couple yards apart and throw knives at each other.  You have to get the knife within one foot of the person’s foot. They have to move the closest foot to where the knife landed and then throw the knife back at the first person. If the knife lands too far away from the foot or doesn’t stick in the ground, you lose your turn. If your legs get so far apart that you fall down, you lose. The only way to get your legs back together is to throw your knife between the other person’s legs and thereby Split the Kipper. We play that you can only do this three times. Unfortunately, someone was a little high on a throw against Seven Toes Sam and we now call him Sackless Sam. -Juan D Tenti

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