Spongebob Squarepants

October 1, 2012 at 1:11 pm | Posted in Da Ritzenator | Leave a comment

So, like, Tyler has this birthday and stuff, and my mommy drives me over there and everything, and we’re all runnin’, chasin’ the girls around, cause they’re annoying, and his mommy brings out this cake with Spongebob Squarepants. It didn’t really look like him too great, It kinda looked more like adult cheese, the one with holes in it (not the orange cheese that my mommy unwraps a piece at a time). I didn’t wanna say anything, ‘cause Tyler’s bigger than me and the cake tasted awesome. So after we ate all the cake and watched Tyler open and play with all his awesome presents, his mommy said that she had a surprise for Tyler and all of us. Everyone got all excited cause she brought out Spongebob Squarepants himself! We all went runnin’ around, yellin’ and chewin’ on Spongebob!

But Spongebob is much nicer and funnier when he’s on the TV. He asked us if we knew who he was, (of course we did!) but his voice in person was way different. He kinda sounded like how my mommy sounds when she drinks all of her medicine after her long, loud talks with daddy. We all kept asking him how Patrick was, and where Squidward was. I could barely understand what he said back. He didn’t even know who Gary was, but he must have been joking or something, because how could he not know his own pet snail? Also, no matter where I walked in Tyler’s house, his eyes followed me, and he never blinked. I definitely remember him blinking in my favorite episode where Gary chased away Spongebob’s other pet, Puffy Fluffy.  We still had an awesome time, taking turns riding on his back, high fiving his hand, and blowing bubbles at him.

But after what seemed like a minute, it was time for Spongebob to leave.  I wanted to know how he was gonna get back to the sea, since he doesn’t have his driving license from Mrs. Puff’s Boating School. Before I could ask, I heard Tyler’s mommy say she was calling a cab for him, since he was in no way able to drive. I guess she spoke to Mrs. Puff and knows that he never passed his driving test too.  We all shouted bye at him and watched him leave from the window. He walked to the curb and sat down. What happened next scared every last one of us. Spongebob put his hands to the sides of his head and PULLED HIS HEAD OFF!!!! All the girls screamed because they were scared the most. But there was no blood or anything, just another guy’s head under Spongebob’s. We could see the head drink something out of a shiny box. It looked like what daddy’s medicine comes in; the medicine he takes after the long, loud talks with mommy. After that, I don’t know what happened to Spongebob, because Tyler’s mommy moved us away from the window and we all got ice cream, which was awesome! When I left, there was no sign of Spongebob or his head, so he must have gotten back to his pineapple house OK. I’ve gotta watch the next episode to see if he mentions me! – Da Ritzenator

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