August 22, 2012 at 1:38 pm | Posted in Nadejda Naivenko | Leave a comment

A poledaddy is a man who encourages/drives a girl into becomin’ a stripper and then takes some of the money. Not quite a pimp, but in that direction. In most cases, poledaddies are not the Maury Povich-proven biological father of the stripper. They are usually step-fathers, uncles, guardians, foster fathers, boyfriends, dealers, mafiosos, former teachers, and so forth. Lemme’ tell you how it goes down. I’m sittin’ at home in my double-wide with my friends, Timbo the Pothead and Shelly the Weed-Skank. They call me the Russian Reefer. So what, we like to get high. Anyways, my mother’s boyfriend, Boris, comes in with this slut Mary Jane. (Surprisin’ly, she doesn’t smoke dope. Just shoots heroin.) Anyways, my mother’s out hookin’ and Boris says I need to go with Mary Jane and start earnin’ some money or he’s gonna’ kick me out on my skinny white ass and I’m gonna’ hafta’ start hookin’ like my mom. So I say my dad wouldn’t kick me out of the house and I hear him yellin’ from his room askin’ if Boris is there and sayin’ he better not be. But my dad’s bedridden with a serious case of obesity, so he’s not gonnna’ do anything. I tell Boris I’m eighteen and I have my GED. I can move out any time I wanna’. He yells at my dad to shut his fat face and then grabs my ass and says maybe I could earn my keep another way, but he’s gross and old, so I figure I’ll go with Mary Jane, ‘cause Boris could probably make things hard for me at home and I don’t wanna’ sleep on the couch at Timbo’s or Shelly’s, ‘cause they got bad situations at home. So Boris takes me and Mary Jane and we bring Shelly too, ‘cause she’s fat, but Boris says she could probably work weekdays durin’ the lunch shift, and we go to this little dive bar by the Army base and they like my tits, so now I have some money of my own after what I give to Boris, my poledaddy, so it’s all pretty cool. I’ve moved up to a better grade of weed, and Oswaldo, the bouncer, might be movin’ in to be my new poledaddy. He’s got a Mustang. –Nadejda Naivenko

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