August 20, 2012 at 2:38 pm | Posted in Juan D. Tenti | Leave a comment

If you want to know what a bleep is, just come to my town and find a kid named Todd Smithman. Todd is a total bleep. Even my mom says so. Yesterday I wanted to buy some fries at the cafeteria and so I bought the fries and had plans to eat them, because fries are really good, especially when they are hot and you put lots of ketchup on them and the ketchup is normal temperature and not cold out of the ‘fridgerator like at home so the fries and the ketchup are both warm when you eat them and Todd walked by and grabbed my fries in mid stride before I could do anything about it he was already eating them and touching them and they were ruined. I told my mom about it and she said, “That little bleep! I’m going to have a talk with that little mother-bleeper’s bleeping mother.” Sometimes my mom accidentally uses some other words that I don’t know and then puts a dollar bill in a jar, but she says she’ll explain that to me when I’m old enough.  I told my Uncle Pat about it and he said I shouldn’t be such a namby-pamby little bleep like my bleeping Uncle Ralph, that bleeping bleeding-heart pacifist. So next time I see Todd, I’m going to do what my uncle said and beat the living bleep out of the bleeping bleephole and shove hot fries so far up his bleeping bleep that he’ll be bleeping mashed potatoes for a bleeping week. – Juan D. Tenti

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