North Face

July 12, 2012 at 3:23 pm | Posted in Da Ritzenator | Leave a comment
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North Face is a brand of clothing that people wear if they are complete jerks or if they want to nudge and whine their way into the complete jerk in-crowd. This non-active active wear is worn by nearly 75 percent of obnoxious and self-centered college students around the country (Ivy League colleges and stuck-up snob-a-vercities yield a much higher percentage). It was not always this way. There was a point in North Face history where they made outdoor sports gear and hiking accessories that were meant and physically used for their intended purposes. 20 to 30 years ago, North Face was a badge of quality and adventure. Fleece-lined jackets protected mountaineers from the elements. Snow pants were worn by rescue teams who saved lives along back trails and stayed dry. Their gloves and boots were favorites among rangers who would blaze trails through the woods and maintain the paths for everyone. Backpacks, tents and sleeping bags were utilized by scientists who studied weather and wildlife in harsh climates. Today, North Face sweatpants are an informative beacon that a dude survived a kegger of Natty Ice from the night before. North Face vests let guys know that the girl wearing it is an easy, druggable date/target.  Wearing their logo encrusted jacket shows off just how different each parental-purse grasping teen is from the next silver-spoon-fed carbon copy. The most action and adventure North Face owners face is stumbling out of someone else’s bed around noon, still drunk from the night before, trying to make it to a starbucks before puking all over the sidewalk. Da Ritzenator

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