December 9, 2009 at 2:03 pm | Posted in The Knave | Leave a comment

You know that guy you know?  The one that’s kind of stupid.  That woman?  Her political views are based solely on the most recent pundit she’s heard not on any actually knowledge.   You know him.   Not so stupid that he gets state aid, but stupid enough that he gives people the middle finger while driving even though he’s the one who doesn’t understand the rules of the road and is essentially a half-breed moron with the other half being a maniac.  That girl.  Much of what she says is self-contradictory and it is impossible to point this out in a clear enough way that she can comprehend it.  You know the guy.  He doesn’t know the issues, but can recite the talking points at high volumes and believes that louder and louder repetitions of the same points is the only possible debating strategy.  You know her.  She knows exactly how you should live your life, but has clearly made a mess of her own.  That dude.  The one who won’t shut up about his kid, who is clearly being raised to be a menace to society, but the father is oh-so-proud of all of the trouble the brat gets into.  That chick.  She smiles and nods when you talk, but then says something totally unrelated, because that’s what she wanted to say all along and she had no interest in listening to you. Him.  He mocks your stock investment portfolio, or lack thereof, even though he barely breaks even, is over leveraged and wallowing in debt.  Her.  The lady who recites a litany of the medical procedures she’s gone through even though all you said was “Hi, nice to meet you.”

These people are chuckleheads.  If this makes you think about the delicious candy made by Farley’s & Sathers Candy Company, Inc., then you are very intuitive.  These people’s brains have much more in common with the jelly candies coated with a light layer of sugar than with the gray and white matter most people call their minds.  They generally add nothing to society except annoyance.  They are overbearing salespeople, town drunks, derivative brokers, politicians, etc. These aren’t the sneaky sons-of-bitches who know exactly what they are doing and have evil plots and they aren’t the real idiots who blindly follow without question.  They are the damp bread of evil.  Not competent enough to do any real damage.  Just likeable enough to avoid being completely shunned.  In small doses they can even be tolerated, but you know exactly who these people are.  If you don’t, then you probably are one of these totally self-absorbed, self-obsessed, semi-sentient, obnoxious chuckleheads. – The Knave

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