June 9, 2009 at 12:36 pm | Posted in Da Ritzenator | 2 Comments

“I am not a packrat” is usually the mantra for a packrat. But honestly, I am not a packrat. Packrats are people who bring plastic bags into restaurants in order to save all the leftover portions and table rolls. I, instead, make sure to eat everything. And if for some reason I don’t eat it all, I am not afraid to ask for a “to go” box and carry it home in the bag that I brought along with me. You see, packrats save every bag because they feel the compulsive need to save everything. I save every bag to reuse it. There are so many uses for plastic bags, why would you ever throw them away? I use them as garbage bags and I never get new bags at grocery stores, because I carry pre-used bags in with me. Just because these bags sit around in piles at home does not make me a packrat. I am not one!  I try to use what I have over and over and over until it is not useful. Then I still use it. Packrat are just “in it” to accumulate things; they are not interested in using the stuff they acquire.

Furthermore, a stereotypical packrat will save every newspaper they have ever read in piles around the home. Ha! I don’t even read! And the piles of papers that I do have around the house are there for me to burn in my fire pit during parties. Of course, I should probably have a party before the piles topple over, but that is beside the point! I’m not saving them like a packrat; I’m saving them like an efficient recycler and reuser!

I’ve noticed that my grandmother, whom is a packrat (but denies it: proof positive!) has every piece of clothing she has ever worn in bags around her house. She grew up in the depression and is afraid of throwing them away in case she might need them again. Well, we are in a depression now, and I don’t keep my clothes in bags around my house because I think I might need them. Instead, I know that I’ll fit into my 25 year old middle school clothes when I get back in shape someday. So why would I get rid of something that I’ll definitely maybe be able to use again? If anything I am a smart shopper for not having to buy new socks!

My parents, whom are packrats, have saved every scrap of paper from my elementary schooling through high school. Like a packrat, they’ve save it all because they have the room in their basement. I’ve told them many times that the only reason I’m making them keep it there for me is to reference the stuff I’ve learned. Why should I spend money buying an encyclopedia, when I can page through my 9th grade social studies box to see who helped Warren G. Harding become the 29th president? Only a fool would spend the money now because they’ve thrown out the free resources from grade school.

Finally, I have artist friends who work with interesting media to make their crafts and structures. I can’t imagine just throwing away the beautiful glass bottles, plastic milk jugs, tin cans, and AA batteries when they can be creatively incorporated into my friends’ artistic constructions. I am proud and feel confident that the piles of raw materials in my back yard will aid their creativity. Now, I’m just hoping and waiting for them to reply to my party e-vite, so they can pick up their supplies and we’ll burn some of the paper piles. Hopefully then, I’ll find my keys which are buried around here some place and I’ll be able to leave my house. – Da Ritzenator


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  1. I’m gonna throw away all the expired canned food while you’re at work tomorrow. Just try and stop me!

  2. Awww Mom, I told you not to leave comments on my blog. Anyway, I’m gonna eat it, just give me time. It’s still good!!!

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