Kula Shaker

May 29, 2009 at 11:11 am | Posted in Matty Fatty | 1 Comment

Kula Shaker is an English rock band that achieved mild fame in the late ‘90s with their cover of Deep Purple’s “Hush.” They are otherwise known as the greatest band of all time. Not many people know that. Even fewer, when confronted with this fact, acknowledge or agree with it. Some even express wordless incredulity and walk away from me at parties. Regardless, it’s true. There has never been a better band than Kula Shaker. Can you name a better one? I’m sorry, but you can’t, and not only because I refuse to even listen to your suggestions. Kula Shaker is the greatest band for a number of well-argued reasons. Well-argued reason one (1): Can you name a bad Kula Shaker song? You can’t. And because you can’t name a bad Kula Shaker song off the top of your head, it stands to reason that there aren’t any. That’s called QED, son. Well-argumented reason the second (2): The lead singer is the son of Hayley Mills. Hayley Mills! Talent, as science has proven, is genetic, and there’s never been a better actress than Hayley Mills. Her Hedda Gabler, as seen in the 1962 Disney kid movie “Hedda!”, has been acclaimed and closely studied by Ibsen scholars, I’m sure. I can’t tell you what her son’s name is, but it’s probably something like Duke or Cornwell or Crispian or Beefface. Well-reasoned reason number three (3): Music, in general, is terrible. It’s vastly inferior to kite-flying or eating or sleeping. I don’t like music, and people who don’t like music can love Kula Shaker. When I’m not enjoying the total silence of my empty house in my lonely life, I listen to all of Kula Shaker’s hits and underrated gems. Songs like “Hush.” And plenty others. Well-reasoned argument that is fourth (4): You only need three reasons to prove anything. Thus, Kula Shaker is the universe’s greatest ever band. Quid pro quo. – Matty Fatty

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  1. I just love Kula Shaker’s music, that’s all, no need for bla-bla-bla to explain

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