Wing

May 18, 2009 at 9:02 am | Posted in The Knave | Leave a comment
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Wing can mean many things having to do with arms.  It can mean a feathery bird arm or a leathery bat arm.  It can be the arm of a house or even where the president works if you add the modifier West.  On the offense of a hockey or soccer team, just like on the human body, the things off to the left and right are called wings (although this terminology is much more common among humans who have completed their evolution into hawkpeople).  The thing you do with your arms to cause a racquet or bat to hit a ball is (with the addition of the prefix “s-”) to swing.  If you use your arms to make terrible music, you just add the suffix “-er” (which in this rare usage means “-pit stench reminiscent band”) to form the word “Winger”. Airplane arms are called wings as are the left and right arms of military formations.  Among pilots and guys in bars, the wingman is your extra man-shaped arm whose job it is to keep you from being shot down.  The arms of a stage are called wings and the part of the wings where the musicians sit is called the orchestra armpit, often shortened to just the orchestra ‘pit.  Just like arms, not all wings taste good when chopped off, cooked in hot sauce, shipped to Buffalo, and dipped in blue cheese dressing.  In politics, the right wing and the left wing are narrow extremities, arms if you will, that can be shoved into the mouth of the center, keeping control and silencing dissent.  Wing is also a verb for when you use the arm of your brain to do something, rather than carefully thinking something out with your full brainpower.  For example: Rather than doing my best with proper preparation, planning, and research for my next guide entry, I think I’ll just wing it. – The Knave

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