Tuenti.comApril 6, 2009 at 8:57 am | Posted in The Knave | 3 Comments
Tuenti.com is a website where you can look at a blue screen with some Spanish written on it. Its main features include a depiction of a wink emoticon ; ) and the ability to type in both an email address and a “contraseña”. Since I do not speak Spanish, I can only assume that a “contraseña” is a statement against the American film director Dominic Sena. I took advantage of this service to write about my annoyance with Mr. Sena over his complete and total lack of understanding of compound interest as evidenced in his film Swordfish. Although I think this movie displayed some of Halle Berry’s breast acting ever, it does not make up for the lack of realistic interest rates proposed by the film. How can I enjoy watching Ms. Berry act her heart out as she lounges topless by the pool, when I know that no savings account pays out as Mr. Sena would have us believe? Of course, it could just be that the money was in an investment account and not a basic savings account. It could have even been in an unregulated or illegal investment. Maybe the director felt it was better to get on with the plot than to fully divulge the allocation of funds within the DEA investment portfolio. Maybe our good friend Bernard Madoff took the $400 million dollar investment into his ponzi scheme and was able to get the necessary rate of return to equal the $9.5 billion in just 15 years. Since Swordfish came out in 2001, it would have been withdrawn before Bernie was caught. (Damn, now I have a new Contra Sena to write. Were taxes being paid on the interest earnings? He didn’t even address that!) Once you have finished, you can “entrar” or enter your information by clicking on the button provided.
There is some other random Spanish on the Tuenti site. It mentions “Beta Privada”. “Privida” can likely be translated as Carotene, so I guess they want you to eat your carrots, which is a good message for kids.
The page also states “Recordarme en este equipo”, which probably means they want you to record if you want the army to get necessary equipment. I think that is only practical, so I checked that box. Support our troops, I say.
Be careful about clicking the link that says “¿Quieres entrar? | Recordar contraseña”. It brings up another page with more Spanish and rainbow-colored letters and numbers. Apparently the Tuenti people want to segregate the contra-Sena-timents left by straight people from those left by “quieres”. It is not clear where bisexuals should leave their comments. Presumably they would have to go to both places. Or maybe it depends on whom they are currently dating?
At the bottom of the page, there is a link for a blog about Tuenti’s campaign against Dominic Sena, about their support of the army, and about the importance of children’s vitamins. Next to that is a link where you can find employment working with Tuenti to these ends. The page for the “quieres” also has an “empleo” link so they seem to be an equal-opportunity employer. (Glad I didn’t waste my time learning Spanish. It is completely unnecessary as you can figure everything out by context.) – The Knave.