Dr. Ortler Alp: Author BioMarch 24, 2009 at 3:29 pm | Posted in Herman the Soothsayer | Leave a comment
Dr. Ortler Alp is a self-described and dubiously accredited “doctor,” as the hastily drawn and cheaply framed diploma from the Harvard Institute for Thing-Learning on her office wall strongly implies. She holds advanced degrees in Etiquette and Honesty, with several more retroactively invented degrees expected in the future. Dr. Alp has had publications in several major professional journals, including American Horoscope, Chihuahua Connection, West Virginia Game & Fish, Hype Hair, and Disney’s Princess. Her current research is on why fish look so surprised all the time.
Dr. Alp was born in Des Moines, Iowa but is from Kalamazoo, Michigan. Her mother was attempting to break the world record for the longest trip while in labor from home to hospital for a childbirth when she was forced to give up and have her baby in Des Moines, falling short of the world record by a mere 17,000 miles. Dr. Alp now resides in Philadelphia with her seventeen children, two large dogs that she loves, and her husband, a homemaker and paper airplane maker. – Herman the Soothsayer