March 3, 2009 at 4:56 pm | Posted in Da Ritzenator | Leave a comment

A whistle is a sound males make to get a female’s attention. It usually in occurs in a two-note format, with the first musical note possessing an up-turned pitch, and the second note follows with a comically downturned pitch. I cannot whistle, so I don’t know how it’s actually done. But I’ve seen it happen, and it looked like he just blew air through his lips. Since I was never taught how to whistle, I cannot personally vouch for its efficiency, but the chicks seemed to like him. Later, when he felt sorry for me, he decided to show me his secret. He procured a mechanical object that can render a crude version of the human whistle sound. This device is confusingly called a whistle. Luckily for guys like me, this whistle device claims to attract females the same as the natural lips and breath do. You can make a whistle with the whistle (see? confusing!) by blowing air through one end of the device. With enough practice and hard work, one can master the whistle as a musical instrument and eventually tour the world as an opening act for musicians like Bobby McFerrin and The Smothers Brothers. Now the whistle (sound not the device) is also used when trying to “hail a cab” in a big city. People who whistle well seem to increase the volume of the sound by including their fingers in some way. But maybe they are just hiding the whistle device in order to look cool. The whistle device is used on the job by many different people like basketball coaches, basketball referees, wrestling referees, and wrestling coaches. And sometimes in old British movies or Benny Hill episodes, a policeman will use the whistle device to try and catch a bank robber who runs away very silly-like with a black mask and stripped clothes on. – Da Ritzenator

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