February 19, 2009 at 11:58 am | Posted in Jonny R Goode | Leave a comment

Sass is a form of “backtalk,” “jackback,” or “flapjazz,” that I just don’t want to hear.  I ask you a simple question, and all I get back in return is your Sass.  The history of your Sass goes back almost as long as I’ve known you.  It manifests itself as a roll-of-the-eyes, a raise-of-the-hand, and an invitation for me to engage in conversation with that hand.  Frankly, I’ve had it up to HERE with all your “jiveback.”  Sass, also known as “lip,” is driving me up the wall. Its bad enough you don’t put down that video game when I’m talking to you, but the added insult of your “jacktalk” is just too much to bear.  If I have to hear you “jazzflash” one more time, I’ll go nutty, and not in the delicious, candy-bar kind of way.  No, more like “Jackflash the Ripperjazz.”  One defense against your “Sassback” is to simply ignore it.  Impossible!  Not when I’m dealing with a World Champion “Sass-Slinger” such as yourself.  And so we roll on.  Dark night gives way to dawn.  Dew collects on the ferns and flowers, and a light morning mist fizzes away.  Birds turn their eyes to the bright morning sun and start their sweet song.  And that’s when your “Jack-Sassery” hits hardest – echoing off the facades of the row homes and rocketing down 81st street like an asshole on a motorbike.  I roll over in frustration, bury my head deep in the pillow, and scream and scream until my voice goes raw.  Would you just quit it with that Sass? – Jonny R Goode

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