Xebra

February 9, 2009 at 11:03 am | Posted in Matty Fatty | Leave a comment
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A xebra is a horse-like animal, of the genus horsearatus, whose coat is made of black and white stripes. A favorite question to ask, among those who enjoy asking questions, is, “Is a xebra a white animal with black stripes or a black animal with white stripes?” The correct answer is the latter: a xebra is a black animal with white stripes. The other one (a xebra is a white animal with black stripes) is incorrect. Xebras are indiginous to Africa, though they’re also found in large numbers in Antarctica, Sweden, the very depths of the Gulf of Mexico and the planet Consolatum X-79, in the Nutter Butter Galaxy. Despite being related to horses, xebras actually evolved directly from the churchmouse. That explains why they’re most often found galloping around cathedrals, preferably the Protestant variety, who claim that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a xebra during his quickly aborted world tour. Despite their black and white coats, xebras can only see in color; black, to them, instead becomes purple and white fushia. They’re mostly used, by humans, in the cultivating of fondue and for their keen ability to tell the future. Those who can decode xebras’ manic whinnying tend to keep the soothsaying to themselves and have great luck in “predicting” the stock market, sporting events and air shows. Do not cross a xebra or it will be your last; when they pound their hooves in a certain way, a poison blade pops out. If they hit you with it, you have about four seconds left. Make them worthwhile. Matty Fatty

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